First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
