He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
