I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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