is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
