i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
