i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
