Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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