Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
