I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
