i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
