Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
