Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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