pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
