well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
