I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
