If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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