I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
