Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
