He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize