i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
