so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
