; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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