Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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