margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
