Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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