Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
