Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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