OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
