i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
