im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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