Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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