If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
