I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
