They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
