never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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