Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize