You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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