Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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