she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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