What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
