So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
