I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
