There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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