So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize