The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My feet surprised me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
