Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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