Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize