Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
