who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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