It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
