sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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