I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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