dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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