Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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