yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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