Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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