watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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