I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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