It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
