I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
