I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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