we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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