hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Mom said you looked used
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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